


so easy

by chamoon



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Asexual Character, Established Relationship, First Time, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Self-Discovery, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 15:54:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19276537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chamoon/pseuds/chamoon
Summary: Dongmin can't get enough of Bin's kisses.





	so easy

**Author's Note:**

> this was written in like a day after having a wonderful and stimulating conversation about asexuality over lunch with some classmates. as a lesbian ace, this fic is kinda... well i really put a lot of my personal experiences and thoughts into it. i wish that my last partner, back when i thought i was uh straight, was more understanding like bin is here. basically, bless bin. the best boyfriend ever. <3 
> 
> ok, so there's some sexual content here but like?? it isn't too explicit. if you think i should raise the rating, let me know! i think mature is fine.

Dongmin feels that something curl in his stomach.

He’s felt this before--when watching movies and those romantic scenes happen, but this is deeper. This isn’t butterflies fluttering, no, this is a warmth coiling around his entire middle and centering down somewhere he hasn’t… explored much.

Bin is gentle when he kisses Dongmin. He uses those large hands of his and cradles Dongmin’s face like he’s something precious and Dongmin lets him as he becomes putty in his soft hold.

Compared to Bin’s attitude on life, his loud and boisterous nature, he is a gentle partner. When caring for Dongmin he’s assertive but never aggressive, insisting on fretting over the other. However, he never treats Dongmin like he isn’t an adult. He just loves to spoil and fret and spoil and fret. As if he was born to worry and care for Dongmin as he does now.

Dongmin feels the love and affection pouring from Bin the most in these intimate moments. Not that he ever doubts the adoration the other has for him in any other instant. There’s just something so real and solidifying when he can feel it in Bin’s touch as his thumbs softly brush his cheeks, when those hands curl around his waist, when those lips touch his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, his lips. Love pours out from every brush of his skin against the other and Dongmin drinks it up as if it’s his last taste of it.

“Min.” Bin breathes the nickname between them, barely centimeters apart from his lips. Dongmin smiles and he can feel Bin smile back as he kisses him again. Bin angles his head and finally that soft tongue enters his mouth. Dongmin hums at the pleasant slide of tongue over another, their mouths meld together like a knot as it loosens and tightens, as they part only to attach to each other again. The sound of their breathing, the slick of their tongues and mouths, with Bin still holding Dongmin’s face in his hands, all these sensations combine to flicker across Dongmin’s entire body, make his toes curl and his fingers tighten around Bin’s shirt. The fabric bunches and Dongmin can feel a sliver of Bin’s side on his fingers and the skin is warm and electrifying.

Dongmin feels the curl tighten in his stomach and he wonders when he’s supposed to feel like he wants to pounce his boyfriend.

Dongmin’s body tightens in a way unrelated to arousal. He ignores it and focuses on the way he enjoys kissing Bin as he maneuvers them until Dongmin is on his back, his legs spread to accommodate Bin as he keeps their lips attached. They have made out like this many times before without taking it further. This is safe. This is something Dongmin enjoys.

It’s as if Bin can’t remove his hands from Dongmin’s face as they still cup his cheeks while he kisses him or else he’ll slip through his fingers. He likes this feeling, this blanket of warmth that covers him where Bin rests. Dongmin loves the way Bin kisses him like tomorrow doesn’t exist, the way he sighs with every brush of tongue, the way he’s _still_ holding onto Dongmin’s face.

When Dongmin chuckles Bin parts their lips for a moment to smile, the action felt against his lips. “What?” He asks, barely a puff of breath between them.

Dongmin’s heart clenches at the affection swimming in Bin’s eyes, like pools of glistening stars.

“You’re still holding my face.” He whispers, afraid he’ll break the moment if his voice is any louder.

Bin hums and rubs his thumbs across Dongmin’s cheeks again. “I just like your cheeks.” He leans down to kiss Dongmin’s nose, to which he giggles. “And your nose…”

Bin leans back and just stares at Dongmin while the latter loops his arms loosely around Bin’s neck. Bin’s eyes roam every surface of his face, committing the details that he already knows to memory.

“You’re so beautiful, Dongmin.”

Said boy flushes deeply. Bin has told him countless times: through text, in person, when he confessed to him, but when he says it like this, like there’s no one else but them in the world, Dongmin’s heart feels like it’s floating in a sea of bliss.

Bin leans forward, presses a kiss to Dongmin’s temple, and rests his forehead there after and Dongmin feels as if he could cry. It’s like they’re in a drama. He feels the energy surrounding them. He _feels_ like he could go further.

Dongmin sighs as he brings their lips together again. He rakes his hands through Bin’s hair, down his neck, and across his shoulders and arms until he’s tugging at the bottom of his shirt. They part as Bin tugs the clothing off and he pulls at Dongmin’s shirt slowly until it too is off. When their chests press together this time it’s warm skin against warm skin. It’s mesmerizing, the look in Bin’s eyes as he surges forward and sticks his tongue into his mouth.

Dongmin thinks he’s addicted to the way Bin kisses him.

Bin leads every action, every movement on Dongmin’s body with reverence. He is truly loved and unbelievably cared for.

Bin pulls his mouth away and Dongmin mourns the loss of contact for only a second before Bin’s lips are on his cheek, peppering kisses down to his neck. Dongmin hugs his boyfriend closer as he starts to suck the skin on his neck. His hands grip Bin’s shoulders until he gets an idea. He’s always been curious on how it would be if…

Dongmin trails a hand down Bin’s side, splays the fingers up his chest slowly, and stops with his index finger just beside one of his nipples. Dongmin really didn’t have much experience with anything else, but he has heard that this could be pleasant, and God he wants to please Bin.

With a bit of trepidation, Dongmin takes the bud of Bin’s nipple between his fingers and gives it an experimental twist.

Bin bites a little into Dongmin’s neck and the latter hisses. Dongmin decides to do it again, starting to massage the nipple between his fingers and Bin breathes harshly into his neck, starting to suck marks into his collar bone.

Dongmin wasn’t ready for Bin to reach a hand between them and do the same thing.

All his nerves in that one spot light up like a Christmas tree and Dongmin finds that oh, he quite likes this. If the soft moan that escapes him is anything to go by. He could enjoy this from time to time.

Bin shifts then, and now Dongmin is made aware of the hardness in his boyfriend’s pants. _‘I should want to do something about that.’_ He thinks, however his mind says not to. It would probably please Bin but Dongmin doesn’t… want to.

Bin stops playing with Dongmin’s nipple and trails his hand down Dongmin’s stomach and rests it at the top of his pants, his lips are back on Dongmin’s. He tries not to tense as Bin begins to unbutton the clothing, pulling the zipper down. Before he goes any further, he breaks apart their kiss momentarily to ask, “Is this okay?”

Dongmin doesn’t trust his own voice so he hums yes, even though he doesn’t really want to do this anymore. But Bin wants to, so he should go through with it, and he so kindly asked which made Dongmin’s heart flutter.

The moment between his consent and Bin doing something felt like ages, but finally Bin’s hand is pushing down Dongmin’s pants, and he palms Dongmin’s own semi-hardness through his underwear. It doesn’t feel awful, per say, but he also isn’t getting that big turn-on everyone talks about when they get their dicks touched. He really would much rather have Bin just play with his nipples again, maybe squeeze his thighs.

Bin works through the motions of a handjob through his briefs and Dongmin can only manage little hums. Maybe he should try what Bin’s doing. Unsure of what to do or how to do it, he traces his hands down to Bin’s pants and begins to undo them, pushing them down a bit. Timidness keeps him from going further, so he just rubs his hand up and down Bin’s side, trying to summon the courage to do something for his boyfriend.

Bin stops his motions on Dongmin’s dick (thankfully) and puts his hand over Dongmin’s. Slowly, he moves their hands till it’s close to Bin’s hard-on and this time Dongmin can’t stop his body from tensing. Bin feels it.

“What’s wrong?” He asks as he pulls their hands away. “Do you want to stop?”

Dongmin just lays there frozen, looking into Bin’s eyes now clouded with worry and he thinks that he should tell the truth but he doesn’t want to disappoint Bin who was clearly getting worked up for sex. How could he not after all these months of dating and they never have done anything like this. Never mentioned it or tried to do anything, and Dongmin never wanted to bring it up because of how unsure he was, still is. 

He hesitates too long to answer, and now Bin is pulling away and Dongmin feels tears well up in his eyes. He messed up. Oh, for sure, he fucked up. How is he supposed to work in an adult relationship if he's so not into sex?

“I’m sorry, Binnie. We don’t have to stop, it’s-“ He rushes out the words, anxious to clear this misunderstanding, but Bin pulls him up and brushes the tears falling from his face.

“Don’t apologize, baby.” The pet name and softness of Bin’s voice as he cooes only brings more tears to Dongmin’s eyes. “We should’ve talked about this beforehand”

“You wanted to do more though, right?”

Bin hums, his thumbs rubbing circles into Dongmin's cheeks. “Maybe. Did you?”

Dongmin feels himself swallow a sudden lump in his throat. He doesn’t want to answer this question. Doesn’t want to answer any of the questions forming in his head. “Kinda…” He mumbles.

“Well, ‘kinda’ isn’t a ‘yes’. We don’t have to keep going tonight, ok?” Bin presses a kiss to Dongmin’s nose and Dongmin, for some God-forsaken reason, starts crying harder.

Bin panics a bit, as one would when their boyfriend starts crying suddenly after an intense make-out session. “Baby, why are you crying so hard? Is something else bothering you?” He’s still holding his face and it makes it harder to stop.

Dongmin tries to reign in his tears quickly. After a bit he sniffles, holds onto one of Bin's hands to ground himself a bit, and braces himself for his next words. “I, um. I don’t really, uh, think about doing those things.” He trails off, rubbing his thumb into Bin's hand.

Bin’s eyes widen. “Oh my God, did I hurt you any? Were you okay with the, the um.” He starts to stutter, his cheeks turning pink and Dongmin chuckles at that and laces his fingers through the hand he was holding.

“No, no Bin. It was… okay. I don’t think I enjoyed it as much as someone else might have.”

Bin visibly relaxes at that, his shoulders slumping down. He grabs a hold of Dongmin’s other hand, rubbing his thumb across the top of it. “We should talk about this more. I’m so sorry I never brought it up.”

Dongmin heart constricts at that. He feels like he’s the one who’s done wrong, not Bin. “No, it’s okay. I never brought it up either.”

Bin tightens his lips, agreeing but not completely. “So, are you asexual then?”

Dongmin thinks about that for a few moments. “I don’t know, honestly. It’s uh, why I never mentioned it.” Dongmin can feel his cheeks heating up. He’s ashamed that he doesn’t want to have sex with his attractive as hell boyfriend. Who wouldn’t? Apparently only him.

Bin tightens his hold on Dongmin’s hands. “How about this? Let’s agree to talking about it more. We can explore it together. You don’t have to go through it alone.” Bin smiles and Dongmin fights the urge to just scream. How can Bin be so calm and understanding about this? Dongmin doesn’t even understand himself.

“Don’t you like sex though? You’re not a virgin.” Dongmin starts.

“Yeah, but I love you.” Bin says without missing a beat.

Dongmin hits him on the chest. “Come on, Bin. This is like a make or break deal.”

“I’m serious, Dongmin.” Bin’s eyes punctuate that statement. Not a trace of doubt in them. “I don’t need sex, not when I have you.”

Dongmin feels his eyes watering again. “I love you too.” Bin kisses him softly, tenderly. Dongmin smiles. “Also, I kinda liked when you, um, when you played with my nipples.”

Bin laughs and Dongmin feels like they’ll be fine with this. “Really? I’ll note that down, then. What’s ok and what’s not ok.”

 

With Bin, Dongmin explores his sexuality. What he likes and doesn’t like.

He likes taking baths with Bin. He loves it, actually. Purely intimate and relaxing. The warm water swirling around their pressed bodies, Bin’s hand lazily playing with Dongmin’s hair. He doesn’t mind being completely naked with his boyfriend. He just learns that he’s not completely interested in playing with his dick.

Dongmin realizes that he experiences arousal, but doesn’t necessarily want to act on it or have it acted on. He actually enjoys arousal. Enjoys doing sexual things sans actual sex, like the one time they experimented with fingering. It’s fine if it’s just Bin’s fingers, and he quite likes pleasing Bin in that matter, just no actual penetration or sex or blowjobs/handjobs, thank you. Even then, he doesn’t _always_ want to do anything like that. But Dongmin never turns down a make-out session. He’s too addicted to the way Bin’s lips feel against his.

Dongmin wonders if all of that can qualify him for being asexual, then. He thinks it does. Sex doesn’t occupy his mind and it isn’t really a need nor a want. He can do without any aspect of it altogether. He isn’t completely repulsed. He’s mostly heavily disinterested.

Bin is patient through it all. He takes care of himself his best without Dongmin knowing. He develops a system when they start to get into something, making sure Dongmin’s comfort is first before anything else. It melts his heart entirely.

At first, Dongmin thought Bin would get frustrated, but he never did and probably never will. He berated himself for ever doubting his amazing boyfriend for even a second. He never asked “Will it ever change? When will we have sex? Will you ever want to have sex?” He’s glad Bin never asked those things. He doesn’t think he could answer them. In fact, Bin probably put in the most effort of the two of them to understand his boyfriend’s sexuality. He found online forums and sources, and even consulted people about it. He helped Dongmin see how fluid his sexuality can be, how there are others with similar experiences or differing ones but still feel the way Dongmin does. When they attended Seoul Pride together for the first time as a couple, he managed to find a small ace pin for him. He was so excited and got it for Dongmin immediately along with a rainbow one.

 

“Your kisses are enough for me.” Bin cooes one day as he kisses Dongmin’s nose. He pushes Bin’s face away.

“You’re so gross.” He teases.

Bin, unsurprisingly, squawks at that. “I’m cute, I'll have you know.”

“Who told you that?”

“You, actually-“ Dongmin kisses Bin quickly, but gently.

“Only when you’re quiet.” Dongmin can’t say he didn’t deserve the tickle attack Bin unleashes on him for that one.

Dongmin only teases. Bin’s the cutest blessing on this Earth. The most patient and understanding man to ever exist. Dongmin is truly lucky to have him.

Dongmin is blessed to love and be loved by Bin.

**Author's Note:**

> anyways, i think this is personally my most fave thing i've ever written after my first astro fic posted here. writing it came rather easy to me.  
> btw, jasol is still slowly being worked on. being school during the summer is odd to me but i'm managing. ;;; 
> 
> if you have thoughts about this fic, let me know. i'm particularly interested in hearing thoughts on this. 
> 
> i'm also someone who doesn't mind listening to people struggling with identity issues. feel free to bother me on my twitter for advice. 
> 
> asexuality is pretty fluid and broad in it's definition. consider researching it if you haven't before!


End file.
